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We have another execution here this evening.
I can't say we were best friends, but I've spoken to him every day since I've been on death watch. He was walked off the section not too long ago. They just came and picked up his property. He's never coming back. I don't even know how to come to terms with that. I haven't really paid enough attention to all the executions in the ten years I've been here, but now I have to deal with them all up close. I can't even begin to describe what I'm feeling. We're all human beings, yet they just took this man out to slaughter him like he's nothing. As far as they're concerned, he's been dead since he got here. They had a chaplain come out to keep him passive, watching the property officer roll a couple of bags of what consists of the life he lived for more
than a decade. It was heart breaking.
This is surreal. The guards are all walking around, life is normal.
The fact that a man they've been guarding for a decade is likely going to be killed in a few hours doesn't even slow them down.
The whole wing over here is silent. Occasionally you here someone call out "You hear anything?? Did the courts turn down his last appeal?" or, "Turn it to the Eagle! They're talking about it him" followed by more eerie silence. It's too early anyway, and we won't know anything until later. Suddenly these men, who you all assume are monsters, show a supportive, sympathetic side. They show far more compassion than any of the guards. The rest of the pod I live on, all the inmates are just living what's left of their lives, oblivious, just like I have been for the past 10 years. For 10 years, my life have been consistently filled with death. I used to bury my head in the sand, thankful that the executioner passed me by. Ignore it, ignore it, ignore it and it won't touch you... but it's hard to ignore it, when the man is standing in front of you, telling you he is all alone and has no one coming up here to visit him on his last days.
It's hard to ignore it, when he walks off the wing, knowing where is going, knowing what's going to happen to him.
It's hard to ignore it when they wheel out all of his belongings, probably just to throw them all away.
It's hard to ignore it when you have to look it in the face every time it happens..
... and it's harder to ignore it when you too, have an execution date.
I wish the people could see the way we're forced to. I can understand why so few people out there actually care about what's really going on in here; you don't have to face it every morning, every afternoon, every time you close your eyes at night. You don't hear our voices, look into our eyes. I'm hoping I can make this a little less impersonal for you.
In two hours, this man will be dead. He got a 30 second blurb on the evening news. It's upsetting how a mans whole life has just been reduced to two small bags of property and 30 seconds of acknowledgment. He should be eating his last meal right about now.
There's a chaplain running around the wing, trying to act supportive. I can't say I'm too fond of these Chaplains; they're only here to pacify us so that we go meekly to the slaughter. It's not very ethical, if you ask me, for a minister to assist the state in murder.
I can't help but wonder what's going through this man's head right
now. He wasn't handling the situation very well. I imagine the whole process is nerve wracking, sitting ten feet from the death Chamber, wondering what's going on with his appeals. Its got to be hell. If he's one of "the lucky ones", he will get a stay. He may also get a temporary stay that could be followed by another execution date, only to go through the same morbid, agonizing pre-death ritual again, the moment the stay is lifted.
There's another painful side to these temporary stays: have you thought about the executed men's families?
Picture this: You're traveling out to Texas to part with your son, father, brother or spouse. You say farewell through a thick layer of plexiglas, acknowledging that this is the very last time that you will see your loved one breathing. Just like in any other death row visit, you can't even hold their hand, no matter how bad you want to. You will only be able to hug them when they're dead and TDCJ releases you their body. If you're "lucky", their body will still be warm. Now, imagine having to go through the parting process on several different occasions. There are men here that have received 2 or more stays, only to end up with another execution date. Every time this happens, these mens' families have to pay to venture out, make funeral arrangements, suffer, grieve and say their goodbyes. If you ask me, putting people through this is torture and It fits the criteria for cruel and unusual punishment, since so many innocent people end up hurt.
The reason these temporary stays repeatedly occur is because a panel of judges, at the very last minute, realizes that there's actually a good chance that Texas may just be executing yet another innocent man. You would assume that whoever made the hasty decision to execute a man without looking at all the facts would pay for their inattentiveness. Unfortunately, this is not the case. The only people that end up terribly wounded in this long, torturous process are the inmates and their dedicated friends and families. Bear in mind that due to the Texas Law of Parties, you don't actually have to murder anyone to get the death sentence.
Knowing this, along with the fact that Texas HAS executed innocent men in the past, please tell me, how would you feel if this happened to
someone you love?
We have another execution here this evening.
I can't say we were best friends, but I've spoken to him every day since I've been on death watch. He was walked off the section not too long ago. They just came and picked up his property. He's never coming back. I don't even know how to come to terms with that. I haven't really paid enough attention to all the executions in the ten years I've been here, but now I have to deal with them all up close. I can't even begin to describe what I'm feeling. We're all human beings, yet they just took this man out to slaughter him like he's nothing. As far as they're concerned, he's been dead since he got here. They had a chaplain come out to keep him passive, watching the property officer roll a couple of bags of what consists of the life he lived for more
than a decade. It was heart breaking.
This is surreal. The guards are all walking around, life is normal.
The fact that a man they've been guarding for a decade is likely going to be killed in a few hours doesn't even slow them down.
The whole wing over here is silent. Occasionally you here someone call out "You hear anything?? Did the courts turn down his last appeal?" or, "Turn it to the Eagle! They're talking about it him" followed by more eerie silence. It's too early anyway, and we won't know anything until later. Suddenly these men, who you all assume are monsters, show a supportive, sympathetic side. They show far more compassion than any of the guards. The rest of the pod I live on, all the inmates are just living what's left of their lives, oblivious, just like I have been for the past 10 years. For 10 years, my life have been consistently filled with death. I used to bury my head in the sand, thankful that the executioner passed me by. Ignore it, ignore it, ignore it and it won't touch you... but it's hard to ignore it, when the man is standing in front of you, telling you he is all alone and has no one coming up here to visit him on his last days.
It's hard to ignore it, when he walks off the wing, knowing where is going, knowing what's going to happen to him.
It's hard to ignore it when they wheel out all of his belongings, probably just to throw them all away.
It's hard to ignore it when you have to look it in the face every time it happens..
... and it's harder to ignore it when you too, have an execution date.
I wish the people could see the way we're forced to. I can understand why so few people out there actually care about what's really going on in here; you don't have to face it every morning, every afternoon, every time you close your eyes at night. You don't hear our voices, look into our eyes. I'm hoping I can make this a little less impersonal for you.
In two hours, this man will be dead. He got a 30 second blurb on the evening news. It's upsetting how a mans whole life has just been reduced to two small bags of property and 30 seconds of acknowledgment. He should be eating his last meal right about now.
There's a chaplain running around the wing, trying to act supportive. I can't say I'm too fond of these Chaplains; they're only here to pacify us so that we go meekly to the slaughter. It's not very ethical, if you ask me, for a minister to assist the state in murder.
I can't help but wonder what's going through this man's head right
now. He wasn't handling the situation very well. I imagine the whole process is nerve wracking, sitting ten feet from the death Chamber, wondering what's going on with his appeals. Its got to be hell. If he's one of "the lucky ones", he will get a stay. He may also get a temporary stay that could be followed by another execution date, only to go through the same morbid, agonizing pre-death ritual again, the moment the stay is lifted.
There's another painful side to these temporary stays: have you thought about the executed men's families?
Picture this: You're traveling out to Texas to part with your son, father, brother or spouse. You say farewell through a thick layer of plexiglas, acknowledging that this is the very last time that you will see your loved one breathing. Just like in any other death row visit, you can't even hold their hand, no matter how bad you want to. You will only be able to hug them when they're dead and TDCJ releases you their body. If you're "lucky", their body will still be warm. Now, imagine having to go through the parting process on several different occasions. There are men here that have received 2 or more stays, only to end up with another execution date. Every time this happens, these mens' families have to pay to venture out, make funeral arrangements, suffer, grieve and say their goodbyes. If you ask me, putting people through this is torture and It fits the criteria for cruel and unusual punishment, since so many innocent people end up hurt.
The reason these temporary stays repeatedly occur is because a panel of judges, at the very last minute, realizes that there's actually a good chance that Texas may just be executing yet another innocent man. You would assume that whoever made the hasty decision to execute a man without looking at all the facts would pay for their inattentiveness. Unfortunately, this is not the case. The only people that end up terribly wounded in this long, torturous process are the inmates and their dedicated friends and families. Bear in mind that due to the Texas Law of Parties, you don't actually have to murder anyone to get the death sentence.
Knowing this, along with the fact that Texas HAS executed innocent men in the past, please tell me, how would you feel if this happened to
someone you love?
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